A started at the preschool today

I just went in to peek in to her classroom, check on how A was doing on her 1st day at school. She was sitting with the other kids, facing the teacher who was singing something (heard music in the background) A kid or two seemed actually present in the moment, they were clapping to the music (almost absentmindedly I thought) Mine was just sitting... tuned out I guess! FOr a little bit in the middle, she raised her neck up to look at the corner where the other teacher (Ms. K) was sorting some papers etc.. then went back into nothing. Then again, she raised her hand when Ms. A asked them to.. and well.. I thought she 'd see me.. so I scooted out. She seemed lost - not necessarily in a bad way(she didn't seem upset or scared)
Seeing her in a group like that made me realise how terribly young she is... all the kids there in the class I guess, but selfish me, I had eyes only for mine. I don't think I liked seeing them all bunched up in a closed room like that.. I'd rather see her up and running around, playing with toys and smiling. But then, I know I am looking for excuses to hate the school considering my current state of mind. I'll have to remember to revaluate this in a week or two...

Last night, when I went to bed, it hit me.. that outside play at the preschool would be her 1st time ever to go about the playground by herself. I felt a pit in my stomach that still hasn't disappeared. And today at work it hasn't been easy focussing either. Thought I'd jot it down to get it out of my system so I can concentrate on the tasks on hand!

A has been pretty excited about going to school though. She didn't want to get out of there after the orientation on Friday and was looking forward to Monday the whole weekend! Wonder if the story will change course after day 1 at the school, and by what degree! She had dinner (called it lunch for last night :)) in her new lunch box and did a fair job of it. This morning, I packed her stuff that I have been coaching her to eat in her lunch box. She seemed really excited about it. '

I gonna eat it alll up!

she's promised. I hope atleast half the lunch is consumed.

The school has had a weird policy of not encouraging parents to visit for the 1st two weeks; I just don't get it. Well, the lady at the front desk did let me check on A, so I am not complaining that loud yet. Plan is to go again during outdoor playtime - in hopes of catching a glimpse of her - or maybe I'll just pick her up early today. It's almost lunch time for A ... eat it alll up babe!